Here I am going to give you a basic explanation on the procedures that I have had to have done. These are not going to be super medical explanations but more an explanation of what happened for me, how I felt about it and what I think helps to keep you calm and get through them! They are in alphabetical order and I will add them as I have more (if I need more….)

Blood Test

    I had to have one of these every day and with my terrible veins, it was always a bit of a chore. As a cheery phlebotomist would come in and say “I’m here to take your blood” I would always wish them good luck! A blood test is where they take a needle and put it into your vein to take some of your blood. They test your blood for loads of different things in this case they are often looking at inflammatory markers and your white blood cell count. It is another procedure that is a small scratch and doesnt hurt that much. It is a necessary evil but I can guarantee you that it will be a lot easier if you dont panic about it. The tests are so necessary and important to make sure that you are well. On average it took them three attempts to get blood from me and so if you’re “easy to bleed” then you should feel really lucky!

Cannula

    Cannula could seem a little scary before you have had them, but I have had many and they are absolutely fine! I am super difficult to cannulate and it normally takes about 3 attempts each time to try and get them in. People who are easier to cannulate won’t have this experience though! Cannula’s are used to give you all sorts of medications and fluids and so they are really important. Some sort of needle is put into your vein and you are left with some little tubes that are loose. Usually a nurse will do the cannula and then flush this through with some fluid to make sure that it is working properly. I had to have 8 different cannula’s because mine either fell out or blew but I was seriously unlucky on this front. My top tips are to try and get a cannula done on your non-dominant arm so that you have more freedom to do things. The ones that are on your hand are easier for when you are trying to do things like eat but not if you are wanting to be able to shower and things like that. I had a couple that went into the crook of my elbow. With these you have to be careful not to bend your arm too much, but I found it easy to do things like type on my laptop and have a shower. This is one that isn’t painful but really is just a small scratch, nothing worse than catching yourself with your nail really. If you do have a bit of a fear then talk to the nurses, I am sure that they will help you out. I personally find it easier to look at the needle as it goes in so that I know when the scratch is coming but that will be down to you I guess! 

Blood Test

    I had to have these daily when I was in hospital and I apparently have dodgy veins so it was always a bit of a struggle. Apparently it is completely normal, some people bleed really easily and some people are a bit more difficult. 

CAT scan

    This was a new one for me, and I was a bit scared at the start because I am claustrophobic and I was worried that it was going to be like an MRI which I don’t deal very well with. However the CAT scan isn’t really like an MRI at all so no fear there. It is a doughnut shaped machine, you lie on a bed, they inject something into your cannula and then they move you into the doughnut to be able to take a look at what is happening at your insides. Again the test probably takes about 10 minutes and it is completely painless. Whatever they put in your cannula kind of makes you feel like you need the toilet, but don’t worry you won’t wet yourself! 

COVID swab

    This is obviously a new one and I have had it twice, both of them different. The first one that I had needed had to have a swab (long cotton bud) to the back of my throat and really far into my nose. This one was quite uncomfortable. The swab into the back of your throat made me gag and with how far it went up my nose it was also quite sore. It doesn’t take long to do the swabs though and if you ask nicely, the nurses will probably do it for you! The second time that I had it done they had changed it ever so slightly. You still had to put one right to the back of your throat however the one in your nose only had to be swabbed around your nostrils so that was a lot more comfortable. This seems to be a test that is ever changing, so it could change again! 

 Daily Observations

    I mean these are definitely more frequent than daily, for me they were happening probably four times a day. All they did for me in this was a blood pressure check, heart rate and oxygen check and a temperature check. This is absolutely nothing to be scared of, it doesn’t at all and you can pretty much continue what you are doing while they do this check. They put an arm band around your arm which goes tight but does not hurt, that’s for your blood pressure. This band thing might also check your heart rate as well, I’m not really sure. While they are doing this, they put a white thing on your index finger, that measures the amount of oxygen in your blood, again, it doesn’t hurt at all, isn’t even uncomfortable! Finally they use a thermometer in your ear to take your temperature. This doesn’t hurt, it’s maybe slightly uncomfortable but then I don’t like people going near my ears so I might be slightly biased on this one. 

Enema 

    A special one for those who are going to have a colonoscopy. This definitely was not  pleasant and as it’s about bowels, people are embarrassed to talk about them. For me, the nurse got me to take my pants and trousers off and lie on my left hand side with my knees pulled up to my chest. The nurse then used a small nozzle which goes into your bottom and she slowly squirted in a liquid. I don’t know what was in the liquid! This doesn’t hurt, the nurse used lubricant so while maybe it was uncomfortable, it did not hurt. The difficult part of this procedure for me was that you have to hold the liquid inside for 2-5 minutes (as long as your can manage). This wasn’t particularly painful, it made my muscles feel very weird and I was in discomfort. To help me get through this, I put on some music and started a stopwatch on my phone. I found this really helped as I was able to visualise how long I had to go. Once the time is over you are allowed to go to the toilet to get rid of the liquid. This is not very pleasant and I personal had a bit of cramping. It was not horrendous, just uncomfortable. If you are having to have an enema, it isn’t the most pleasant experience, I won’t lie, however it is not as bad as it seems, and while maybe a little embarrassing, the whole thing is over in no more than 10 minutes. Don’t panic, just relax and breathe. 

Flexi-Sig

    Another one that people find embarrassing. This is also sometimes referred to as a “camera test” I have found. You will have a lot of questions asked before you go in and I chose to have sedation as I thought, while I’m in the hospital, then why on earth not?. You have to take your pants and trousers off and put a gown on. You go into a little room which has a couple of screen on either side of a bed. For me they then put the sedative in my cannula (Fentanyl) and they started the procedure. They place a camera up your bum and have a good look around. Now I was fairly drowsy for the whole thing but I was able to watch which was kind of cool and a bit disconcerting all in one go. I had 5 biopsies taken which didn’t hurt at all. In fact, this whole procedure was totally fine, I didn’t really feel a thing, maybe a bit of pushing and pulling as they moved the scope? It was all over in about 10 minutes and they moved me into the recovery room where I had a little nap because of the sedative and then they took me back to the ward. All rather civilised considering the procedure! This is another one where it is best to try and relax and just remember that they do this every day. I know it’s easier said than done but if it makes you get better then just go with it. 

Flu swab

    The final type of swab that I had, they gave me the swab (long cotton bud) and it just needed to be moved round the very inside of your nostrils. Didn’t hurt a bit and probably only took 2 minutes to complete. Don’t panic about this one at all. 

Infusion

    I had to have an infusion given to me over a long period (at least 24 hours). This is a simple procedure where they hook you up to a machine and it gives you some form of medication over a number of hours. They put the medication into your cannula. I couldn’t feel it at all, it was just a bit inconvenient because I had to take a wheely stand with my medication wherever I went, including to the toilet. This was more inconvenient than anything else!  

MRSA swab

    Think that these are done as standard when you come into hospital. For me they gave me the swabs (long cotton bud) to do myself, I had to do one that I put up my nose and then one in my groin. Completely painless! 

X-Ray

    Now being a rugby player, I have had a lot of these done previously and so I didnt really have any fear around them to start with. This is a really non-invasive procedure and I have usually found X-Ray techs to be pretty good laughs if I am honest. I have had to have abdominal x-rays for my IBD, I am not entirely sure what they show because uneducated me thought that x-rays only showed bone, but apparently they are kind of handy for this one. I had to lie on the x-ray bed, have a kind of scary looking machine placed over the top of me and then when prompted take a deep breath in and they take a picture. It is all completely painless and is over within a matter of seconds.