Reset!

So I have been having bit of a tough time with this whole Ulcerative Colitis thing recently. I have felt hard done by and proper moody about the whole thing and generally feeling a bit down and rubbish. 

Not that long ago, Jordan got sick with a nasty virus that absolutely knocked him out for about 17 days. At the same time as that happened, I started work at my new job. To say it all got too much was a bit of an understatement. Noone was to blame for it, just one of those things. I stopped doing all of the things that I had put in place to help me, the mindfulness, the cooking, the exercise, literally it all went out the window. No excuses, just didnt manage it. 

Anyway, I spent the next few weeks floundering. I was out of routine and going back to old habits quickly. Too much fast food and snacks and not enough time for myself.

Luckily I did recognise this eventually but the problem is that I can tend to have a bit of an all or nothing view with stuff like this. I forget that I had to put building blocks in place at the start and thats small baby steps are the way. So I spent the next couple of weeks full well knowing that I was off kilter and telling people that I wasn’t doing alright with everything but at the same time trying to restart my whole routine all in one go, it was a recipe for disaster. 

Eventually, and this is probably only in the last couple of weeks, i have realised that when i put all these new things in place I started small and so to restart them I probably need to start small again. 

So I am officially clicking reset and starting again. 

I am starting small, one thing at a time. First we start with my skin care routine, its small and manageable. I will then work up and add the other bits in. Small and manageable chunks. Get myself into the routines again and eventually I will feel like I am conquering Ulcerative Colitis once more. 

It’s okay to struggle and to need to press restart. It’s okay to need to start again, it isnt failing.