When you are feeling vulnerable

I am going to write this as covertly as possible to avoid getting anyone into trouble. When I came home from hospital the second time, life was absolutely great. The medication was working (even if it did smell funny and had some side effects), Jordan was home and I felt like life was getting back on track, even in the small ways. I was able to look after my house again (if at a slower pace than I was used to) and I was back in my safe space, able to properly recuperate. As with all good things though, they had to come to an end. Jordan works in a residential care role and his time came that he needed to go back to work. This meant that he was going to be at work for 4 days and 4 nights looking after some young people. This would leave me alone at home with young Archie the puppy. Now I totally get that I am a 26 year old woman (and I am therefore not a child) but having just come out of hospital, having been admitted twice and all of the trauma that had happened, I was not feeling my most confident in my abilities to look after myself, the house and the dog properly when I was still not firing on all cylinders. I do think that it is hard to realise how much hospital can take it out of you and as someone has pointed out to me, I was likely running on adrenaline type thing for much of the first few days at home anyway. For precisely this reason and also the creation of social bubbles happening, Mum moved in with me for a few days and I cannot tell you how grateful I was for the support. 

Now, having travelled, been to University and worked a residential role myself, I haven’t actually lived with my Mum for a while but it was fair to say that it was monumentally helpful. Mum was there to make sure I ate well, had breakfast, lunch and dinner, took my tablets, rested. She also helped me take the dog for a walk, clean up after the dog sometimes and generally take care of myself. In that first little bit after the hospital it was so important and I felt very rested by the time that Jordan came home again. 

I cooked us some tasty meals, we did some baking and generally relaxed for four days without the boys, I think maybe Mum enjoyed it to? She came back the next time Jordan was off anyway! 

I am so grateful for Mum for coming over and I guess I am writing this blog to say that it is OK to admit that you might need a little bit of support with everything. I admitted quite quickly that I was going to need some help and generally if people are able to then they will! It is OK to be vulnerable. Just remember that. And remember to be kind to yourself, you don’t have to try and take the world on all on your own, most superheroes have a sidekick! 

Thanks Mum! I hope you enjoyed yourself and when lockdown is fully over I will be thanking you with a meal or something like that… We shall have to get our heads together and see what works